Memories

I'm spending this Memorial Day morning reflecting on special people in my life who I've loved and I've lost. 
First and foremost in my mind is my mother, Lorah Ann, who passed just two short years ago this month.  I miss her deeply and long for our conversations together that I used to take for granted and wish now I'd paid better attention to the details she was trying to impress upon me.  I recently cut my hair short and when I pass by a mirror catching a quick glance of myself, I do a double-take as I am reminded how much I look like her these days, even my hands. No one has mentioned it to me, but I see it more and more each day.  Not that it's a bad thing, it just makes my heart ache for her all the more.

Secondly, I miss my dad, Donald.  Even though he has been gone sixteen years, I cannot sit by myself on my own front porch swing without being reminded of sitting with him, listening to the Cincinnati Reds playing baseball on the radio.  Dad had suffered serious illness by the time I came along behind five siblings before me.  And after suffering a major stroke when I was in Jr. High School that effected his motor skills and speech, he wasn't much for long conversations.  It's what he didn't say that meant the most to me.  Sitting side by side on that porch swing he'd built in his better days, slowly rocking back and forth, we'd watch the street lamp light up as darkness fell on the neighborhood.  He'd smoke an occasional cigarette, holding it between his middle finger and forefinger, part of which he lost during his 32 year job at the paper mill.  He'd sometimes put his arm around my shoulders and pull me closer in a hug and that meant more to me than any words he never spoke.

Lately, I've been thinking about my sister, Georgia, who was killed in a car accident at age twenty-one, when I was only six years old.  I don't have too many memories of her when she was alive.  At the time of her death she was married with a two year old son of her own, Russell, and lived several miles away.  I wonder what she'd be like if she were here with us today, what she'd look like.  And since Russell's youngest son, Quinton, graduates from high school in a few short days, I find myself reflecting on the many challenges and changes our family has seen over the years.

My husband's father, also named Donald, was always such a joy to be around.  Constantly in his workshop, creating some new piece of furniture, toy or puzzle, he was always so full of life.  With his scraggly beard and jolly disposition, he always made you feel happy to be in his presence.  There wasn't anything he wouldn't do for you, if he was able, whether taking you to pick blueberries on an Amish farm or churning homemade ice cream on a hot day.  I never tired of his re-telling the many apple butter stirring tales he told and learned so much from him in that area of his expertise.   Our granddaughters would have adored him even more than our own daughters did.  Another porch swing builder, I still envision him sitting there shelling beans or peas from the garden.  I don't know if he ever knew how much I enjoyed the simple pleasure of sitting there with him, laughing and joking.  I never told him.

One last special memory I hold dear is that of our good friend, Randy.  Three years have passed and yet hardly a day goes by that I'm not reminded of his many antics and thoughtful gestures.  I've never known anyone like him and probably never will again.  He could make me so mad sometimes--then turn around and make me laugh 'til my sides were splitting.  The plans we, and our circle of friends, all made for our old age to be shared together was cut short when his life ended so suddenly.  It has been a long grieving process that isn't over even yet.

I honor the memories of these loved ones as well as countless others who are gone and continue to hold a special place in my heart.  I ask for God's grace to be with those who fight for our country and the many fallen heros who died for that very same cause.   My plan for the remainder of this Memorial Day holiday is to enjoy it with family and friends, show them and tell them I love them and just celebrate life.